Quieting the flesh:

The battle inside is always raging. I want to get out my calendar and have a sit down with God; explain why I need Him to get on the ball and have such-and-such done by such-and-such day. I want to explain to God that if my Ethiopian child is abandoned rather than being dropped off at an orphanage, I might have to wait longer to adopt him. If that happens it might interfere with my plans to go on mission in Russia later this year. I want to tell him that adoption makes planning hard. As if he doesn't already know all of this!

With adoption most of your time is spent filling out paperwork or chasing down old personal information, trying to find a stranger that will be willing to testify that the information is true, etc. You do all of this to hurry up and wait. To wait on a third-world government to fit you into a schedule that they do not keep themselves. To wait for a child to be abandoned by their mother or loose their parents to AIDS. How sadly maddening because the true tragedy gets overlooked because of my need to hurry God.

For some strange reason, I really need to be in control of my plans. I need to be in the driver's seat when it comes to when and where I'll be. How annoying is it to realize that I am not in control of that....ever? It makes me anxious and panicky just to think it.
So, how do I combat this? How do I fight this battle? The answer is......I don't. I have to sit down with God and ask him to do it for me. I have to quiet my flesh so that God can give my spirit peace.


"Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God which surpasses all understanding will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus."
Philippians 4:6-7